1. Become pregnant a few months prior.
2. Go to thrift store and pick up $1 Cabbage Patch Kid. Awesome child-given haircut optional
3. Cut off limbs just above seams. Have handy husband saw off face with serrated knife
4. Snip off pokey ends of tooth picks, paint white, use glue gun to secure into corners of doll’s mouth. 5. Use hot glue gun to adhere face and arms to maternity shirt. Apply additional amounts of glue and red paint for effect. 6. Pick up some Smacker’s “Dazzle Dust” for $3.27. 7. Apply Dazzle Dust to husband’s face, liberally. Like, until you know he’ll be dazzling for days after, no matter how much he showers. And you’re done!